Thursday, April 26, 2012

Praying for my Son's Bride

I shared this with a group of friends this morning in a private social site.  I received a lot of encouragement to share this, so I am.

This morning, I am reminded of when my son was about 9 years old I went to a Women of Faith conference. One of the speakers was talking about prayer and how she prayed for the boy and girl that would someday marry her daughter and son. I came home from the conference with the determination to start praying for the girl who would be MY son's wife. It wasn't daily, but it was regularly that I would pray for that little girl's protection, health and spiritual place. About a year ago, I shared that story with his fiance, and big ole tears welled up in her eyes. She looked at me with those tears spilling over and told me, "That was the year, that was before I went into foster care!" I had a good ole girl's ugly cry over that. 

Her experience in foster care was not necessarily a fun one. She was in multiple homes before she requested to be placed in a Girl's home.  It seemed whenever she or the foster parents started bonding, she would transfer to another home. She never got a chance to BE a member of the family, never got to be family with any of them.  Occasionally she got into a bad situations where she needed to be moved. But for the most part she never knew why she was being moved.   My son met her when she was 16 years old.  She had been in the Girl's group home about 4 years by that time.  She has some good memories of her time there, 
she has not so good memories as well.  

"Aging out of the system" and high school graduation put our girl into tailspin that none of us anticipated.  It was a time of pain for all of us.  We didn't understand at the time that she was losing her foundation, being launched into the world without a safety net.  We were ready and prepared to love her into our family, but I guess she either did not know that or had not come to trust it yet.  We watched from afar as she floundered..loving her, needing her but having to be willing to lose her if that was the plan.   It was our great happiness when she did come to trusting love and so began a time of restoration for all of us.

WE were able to model family, faith and love to this dear child. Nothing thrills her more than to be included in "family" things. Last Fall, she joined me for my sister's "Family Baking Day" - a family tradition of gathering together to bake Christmas goodies. She stood in that big kitchen, listening to us sisters bicker, tease and laugh with big eyes and a huge grin on her face. "I love being in a big family!" she told us. She loves family traditions, being a part of them and making memories in new traditions.

To be honest, as I prayed for this little girl I had in mind some little one in a secure Christian home. Somewhere sitting with her mom around a kitchen table, being home schooled in the classics and fundamentals. It NEVER occured to me that the child I was praying for was hiding in closets from an abusive mother. Or going hungry..and cold.   I knew nothing of her fears, her pain,  her loneliness or the abandonment she would experience over and over and over.  That little girl at the table with her momma was someone else's bride to be. Our little girl needed our prayers more desperately than I ever knew.

I have watched her grow from a silly, goofy sixteen year old into a beautiful, loving and generous woman.  She's the same young woman who just over a year ago, gently dressed my radiation burns and eased me into and out of shirts for the treatments. She prepared meals and made certain I rested and ate. She cared for me as a daughter would care for her mother. We bonded over Radia-gel, ice packs, banana pops and that whole wretched experience.  Her heart melted into mine so tightly, I no longer knew where mine ended and hers began. 

She began sharing with me some of the experiences she had before her birth mom's parental rights were severed and she became a ward of the state. I wept for that hurt, lost, little girl (not in front of her - that was the deal) and SO thankful that I had heard the word, to pray for your children's future mates. So thankful she found her way to us.  As she relates experiences to me I recall the prayers I prayed for her. And I am struck over and over, just how awesome our Father is. He is Faithful!

So today as I finish her bridal bouquet, hem the poofy slip and gather all the little details for a wedding my heart is full and keeps leaking from my eyes. :) I truly am not losing a son, I am gaining a daughter. My joy for both of them overwhelms me.


  1. I love this post! It gives me such hope and encouragement as I pray for our children and their futures!

  2. Beautiful my dear. Both the post, and your heart.

  3. So, so, so heartwarming! She is blessed to call you Mom. (:

    (and I just have to say that my little bro looks adorable in the graduation picture!)

  4. I love the painted picture here. I love it when I see people paint a picture of how things were or could have been compared to what God's love and grace has done in someones life. It is a moving story for sure!