Nausea didn't bug me last time as much as the anerexia. I had lost 10 lbs in a week. Dr. Joe frowned and told me losing weight was okay but not that much.
I'm not having muscle pain yet but they feel hot like something's about to happen. I don't mean to whine. I just want to sleep for a week.
I did come home to three new cute. The ACS gave me two winter caps that are major cool. One black woo,l the other white fur for really cold weather. I need lighter caps to wear around the house. I was given one pretty crocheted cap by a volunteer. I told K i needed a board hug to hang my caps. Jumbled on the dresser causes me to miss them.
I hope you're feeling better today. Oh, and you are ALLOWED to whine. You can even scream and holler and whine if you feel like it.
Their mom looked at me cockeyed. I try again to reach for the Whoppers, only to have a bigger kid turn and Sa-neeze directly in my face. I was shocked and blurted out "Do you MIND NOT SHARING your germs with the public!" The mother stood gaping at me as I once again sprayed where I felt his spray land! She says something lame to the boys...try to cover your mouth when you cough or sneeze.
WM was thrilled the card worked because I came the closest to a public tantrum as I have EVER! Seriously I may have landed in jail I was so close to a food fight!
Poor K is stuck with me. I want to hurt him just cause he's in the room...eating MY banana pops and MY banana cream pudding! He teases me asking..you wanna pick a fight? and yes. Yes I do.
He thinks its so funny because this is outside my character. I burst into tears once cause I was just seething and couldn't bring it down. I wanted to pinch off his head! He's chuckling and telling me he things my meanness is just the steroids effecting. That's when he pointed out that I was probably experiencing 'roid rage! Who expected this?
I drank a wine cooler hoping it would help. Then took a hot bath in the big tub downstairs to see if it did. Not really. Then my sister "Bug" texted that she wanted to eat someone alive, she was on steroids for a bad allergy reaction. We compared our 'roid rages.
I went to bed..read a little. I woke up two hours later wide awake..again thank you Mr. steroid. Thank God last night was the last dose. They had me double the dose this round so the reaction is so much more intense. augh.
I will probably vacuum. I lose as much hair as the furbabies. Although honestly, why did I lose head hair and groin hair..but still have to shave my chin whiskers and legs? Granted the regrowth is slowwww. It's a week before they get stubbly so that's an improvement but my scalp is still losing hair.
My skin is so dry I leave flakes everywhere. I toss throws on the recliner or chairs, otherwise there's a white chalk outline of where my body was.
I hope you're in a deep sleep now and that inner anger is fighting for you to get better.
Bless your heart for being so open to all of us. I hope that you do get some rest today. I would suggest that if you don't like football, turn on the TV about noon and you should get a few hours of sleep just watching football! But if those games get you worked up; they might not accomplish what you want it to. Prayerfully, as I type, you have finally closed your eyes and begun to rest. I will pray that your "rage" subsides, which I'm sure it will. Imagine all that chemo bottled up inside just ready to explode. It's doing what you need it too! Including making trips to WalMart much more exciting!
I am in NO WAY saying I understand how you feel with the 'roid rage, but I do get the being the Big B and seeing it like you're watching from a distance and wondering why you can't just stop. I get like that before my period sometimes. I'm just raging at David over the stupidest thing and in my head I'm saying "shut up, you crazy woman. What is your problem?" but I don't stop because I just can't shut the mouth up! And quite frankly, it feels good to just get all the rage out. David just shakes his head and says, "oh man, it's the week I can't do anything right" Sadly, he's right. If he had chosen to do the other option, I would have probably yelled at him too
Or another trick is to get a pillow and hold it over your mouth while you SCREAM into it. Repeat as necessary.
(((Hugs and prayers. I think of you so often! And I pray for you whenever I think of you.)))