Pink Ribbons ~ Chemo, the Second Round

Pink Ribbons is a feature series I have started that is posted every Thursday.  I am a Pink Ribbon Warrior, having gone through the chemo, surgery, radiation, the year of waiting and recently stage 2 reconstruction...which I find is really the first of many little surgeries.  I am at a place in my life where I am willing to open my journal from that time and share with you my anger, fears, challenges and pain of finding out you have cancer.   This is me sharing with you from the other side of breast cancer.

These are not current events, events are from Sept. 2010

Well my friends, I've done the second dose of chemo.

It was harder this time, going through and knowing what was to come.  I knew to expect the pain this time, so I had to pull up the big girl panties and just do it.  The steroids impacted me again, and I went to the clinic with about 2 hours of sleep.  The drugs wound up my brain and I don't think it even stopped to sleep.  I went to sleep with thoughts zipping through my mind and the instant the alarm went off, it picked right up where I left it.

I'm extremely agitated, I have cotton mouth and my skin is flaking from dryness.  I swear the steroids suck every ounce of fluid from your body so you pee nearly constantly.  I contemplated wearing a pad to the clinic in case someone is in the bathroom when I need it and I have to walk to the further bathrooms.  Dribble protection you know.

Everything went smoothly as far as assessing me and getting ready.  But about 30 minutes into the dose, I started gulping and having to take deep breathes.  Mr. Rosey took one look and commented that I looked a little "green".  I nodded and he called the nurse over.  They aren't kidding when they say they will give meds to help with the nausea.  She was injecting different IV meds into my IV line within a minute.  They sent Mr. Rosey for cold clothes and anti nausea lozenges.  Things got better and I leaned back.  Interesting that I had no issue with this the last go around, but I am this time.  I'm grateful that chemo is generally not the Hollywood version anymore...you know you saw the movies where the person with cancer is puking up their socks.  It wasn't like that and I haven't met anyone at the clinic who wasn't able to control their nausea.

Dr. Joe is correct in telling me that every dose of chemo has the potential to be different.  I choose not to consider what the upcoming doses will bring.