Thursday, October 3, 2013

Pink Ribbons ~ Last Chemo Treatment – Holler!

**This is a Pink Ribbons post... In 2010 I was diagnosed with breast cancer.  Pink Ribbons are my journal entries from that time frame.  I have to honestly say that this entry has taken a few weeks to complete.  The memories from this time are painful, even though it features the last chemo dose.  These are not current events, this journal entry is from October 2010.**

However right now everyone who reads this must assume the position....nose tipped up in the air...arms and side while hands flap up and down.

Now stomp around. Do the SNOOPY dance.

IT’S THE LAST CHEMO!!!! I am hooked up right now and the premed is going in!

Firmbeliever - Praise God for whom all blessings flow! Oh Tina. I am glad that you can have a blessing out of this week. I have been praying for you. ((((((((Tina)))))))

Danica - I will do the snoopy dance in your honor~ thankful you are done with this part...praying your after isn't as intense this time.   (((rosey)))   love you,  danica

My joy over this last treatment is dampened by news about mom. *sadness* She had her surgery 2 days ago.  I was so happy when she got out of recovery and I got to talk to her on the phone.  Last night she was moved to the ICU. They believe she is doing something called “Third Spacing.” It happens when blood vessels have thin weak walls and they leak fluids into spaces like the peritoneum, lungs, or brain. So far it’s leaking into the peritoneum so she's not peeing. All her excess fluid is flooding into her belly.

She runs fevers nearly daily but now suddenly the nurses are concerned. So they are tapping her belly and then they will culture the fluid to see if it grows. They are convinced that's what the fever is from.

Her doctor took 6 liters about two weeks ago. If they do it again my sister Bug, is concerned what shock it might cause. That's equal to 3 - 2 lt bottles and one half. I don't mean to talk down to anyone. I had someone ask “How much is 6 liters?” so she could picture it. I'm not physically able to drive out and hang around the hospital. But my heart is so heavy. I do know if the doctor says call the family in...we will make the trip. 

Mom will stay in the ICU. Her bp was 65/35 and they freaked out. But we girls suspect that her bp has been dropping low for several weeks. She had fallen several times at home, that led her to using a walker. A low BP would explain her falling.

So today, I was spreading sunshine at the chemo suite because I was so darn happy to be done today! I taught a new cancer diagnosis getting her first chemo how to do a head wrap with a scarf. It was good to help someone else at the beginning of this. Because of my nausea in the last couple infusions, I had to fill a script for nausea. It cost $400 but it was to stop my vomiting so it was worth every penny. It was one of those hidden costs in cancer treatment. Insurance will cover it eventually. The only pharmacy in town open overnight was a non-provider. So they will reimburse 80%. But I have no nausea today!

I'm so emotional. Talking to Mom made me cry. I cry over the least thing...Bug’s cards. Losing our Bandit, Leia have her eye trauma and then losing her eye. I listened to our worship team cd when mom came out of surgery the other day and I wept for an hour. 

When my infusion was over this morning, I stepped out the cancer center and burst out crying. I stepped into the sunshine, took a deep breath and tears filled my eyes. I couldn't control them. They just fell. Mr. Rosey took my hand, held it and kissed it. That just made me cry harder.

I couldn't really define why other than from relief of knowing all this chemical caused pain would be ending. So I spoke to mom when I got home and she got teary telling me that this was all wrong. I was her baby and she needed to be mothering me. That she should be celebrating my last chemo and not in the ICU. What could I say? So I cried some more. 

Maryland Crab - I'm sorry to hear about your mom. I can only imagine how difficult it is dealing with your own stuff let alone dealing with your mom. But yippeeeyaaahoooie on this was the last treatment! I have a feeling everything else will just fall in place. I have a sneaking suspicion if you are a little patient, it will work out.

Let us know how your mom is doing, I'll be praying for her, and for you to fly through this with minimal "aftershocks".

Abeybabymama - I'm sorry to hear what your mom is going through. I hope that they are able to make her comfortable. Tina, I am so sorry you have all of this going on at once. But I am doing the snoopy dance for the end of your chemo. I understand what a relief that is. My mom has been feeling a little of the with the repreive she is getting these couple of months until she returns from Israel. (((Tina)))

Paula - I hope you can see the little Snoopy dancing! I'm so sorry to hear about all that's been going on. I pray for you whenever you cross my mind. I hope and pray that you will now be able to feel better and at least not have the anxiety of worrying about another chemo treatment. I wish I was a millionaire and could cover your expenses during this rough time, but I know that God is in control.

Continued prayers...

Tracy - I'm so glad you were able to pass along something you've learned to someone new to the chemo. YAY that today was the last one!! I'm so sorry about your mom. That has to be hard to deal with all of your health issues, plus what your mom is going through


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