Today while shopping in Columbia, I had a abso-freakin-lutely funny moment...in the ladies room (again) of all places.
I shall speak to you on the topic of "the courtesy flush". I had headed to the Ladies room at the Wal-Mart. Right in front of me was an elderly lady in just as big a hurry. She was dressed, I mean dressed! She was wearing a skirt and blouse set, nylons and short heels. Makeup and hair was not out of place. She was a PROPER lady! This woman was tiny. 5 feet and maybe 100 lbs.
We made our way to our "stations" and I guess you could say I was in the process of "relieving" myself when from the stall next to me came this EXPLOSION of sound. It wouldn't have been so bad but those bathroom walls - sound just bounces around.
I raised my eyebrows but who's kidding who...we all know what we use bathrooms for. But what got me giggling was this prim and proper elderly voice that said, "Oh gracious me....pardon me please." I'm trying not to laugh as I answered, "No problem."
I'm thinking yep, ma'am that sounded like you moved the whole stall over 10 inches. Since I'm having this very intimate conversation with this elderly lady between the stalls, I offered her this advice.
"Ma'am, excuse me if I am out of place for suggesting this. Are you familiar with the "courtesy flush?"
She said "No, I'm not." (Maybe you have to be prior military to know about it.) So I explained...well when you go into a public restroom and you are not alone, the idea is that you flush immediately so your neighbors aren't offended. When I know that I need to have a 'movement' as you said, (or should one sneak up on me like hers did), I start flushing immediately and keep flushing so I can make as much noise as I need to, in order to finish the job."
There was a moment of silence and then she cackled. "Child (she called me child lol) I have lived 88 years and no one on the face of the earth as ever explained such a thing to me." So she flushed...three times in a row.
My business was done so I went to the sink to wash my hands, when this little white haired lady came...slinking out. Her cheeks were bright red and she kind of sheepishly glanced at me. "Thank you for that tidbit of information Miss." she said after she cleared her throat a couple times.