Wednesday, June 20, 2012


I am somewhat disappointed.  I went to see the plastic surgeon for what was supposed to be an expansion.  But Dr. Puckett came in, poked around on my skin and pronounced that he feared that my skin and muscle were too tight now.  He decided to not do the expansion.  I am bummed.

I have already waited a year since the end of my radiation.  It was exciting to begin the process of wholeness, to put this behind me.  But the good doctor is trustworthy and he told me to wait a month.  Four more weeks, and if the muscle is still this tight, then it’s time to talk surgery.  He can release the tight muscles surgically, but there only so much we can do with the actual expanding.  But if that month causes the muscle to relax a tad more, he will do another expansion.  He assures me that going slowly will produce a better outcome.

So I left the clinic without the expansion, vaguely feeling like my copay should have been refunded.  As I sat in the lobby waiting for the ride I had arranged, I decided this is not all bad.  I have been too sore to get much done around the house.  Although we prayed for me to gain strength I had not exactly meant to halt the process.  But the prayer is being answered because I am being forced to take the time.  So I devised a plan...if I'm having surgery at the end of the summer, then there are some things I want to get done.  Steam Clean carpets, move furniture around, get rid of some excess furniture, chores of that nature.  I can give my home a late spring cleaning.

But I have to be honest about it.  I'm not good with waiting.  Nothing bugs me more than want to "get on with the program" and have to wait.  I don't like being late for appointments whether they are medical or divine.  If I'm not 10 minutes early, then I am late.  Even when I was diagnosed with breast cancer, once I accepted that this was going to be my life for a season....I was ready.  Let's get on it with it.  Let’s start the chemo.  Make the hair come out...I don't care let's just keep moving.

This is actually ironic as I sit here NOT moving.  I suppose I want to keep moving as long as it doesn't require waiting.

About 3 am today, I awoke with a spasm of pain radiating from this "radiated" tissue expander or "puckett" as I call it.  Even in the drowsy state of mind, the thought pierced my mind,  “This hurts.”  It would have hurt a whole lot more if the Dr. had done the expansion.  I started drifting back to sleep, having found a more comfortable position.  But as I sunk into that soft sleepy cloud, I sternly told myself, Tina!  You have a problem with waiting.  Be patient!  Do what you can now to prepare for the time where you cannot.  When you get up, look for scripture that will encourage you to wait in patience, not impatient.

I suppose it could have been a word from the Lord, but it could also have been my own common sense as well.  So that's what I did when I got up this morning.  I looked for Scriptures about waiting, about time.

Psalm 5:3
In the morning, LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly.

Psalm 38:15
LORD, I wait for you; you will answer, Lord my God. 

Psalm 130:5
I wait for the LORD, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope. 

Acts 1:4
On one occasion, while he was eating with them, he gave them this command: “Do not leave Jerusalem, but wait for the gift my Father promised, which you have heard me speak about.

Acts 17:16 While Paul was waiting for them in Athens, he was greatly distressed to see that the city was full of idols.

Romans 8:25
But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.

1 Corinthians 1:7
Therefore you do not lack any spiritual gift as you eagerly wait for our Lord Jesus Christ to be revealed.

1 Corinthians 4:5
Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait until the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart. At that time each will receive their praise from God.

1 Corinthians 4:4-6 
and to wait for his Son from heaven, whom he raised from the dead—Jesus, who rescues us from the coming wrath.

1 Thessalonians 1:9-10   while we wait for the blessed hope—the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, 

James 5:7
[ Patience in Suffering ] Be patient, then, brothers and sisters, until the Lord’s coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop, patiently waiting for the autumn and spring rains. 

Psalm 37:39
The salvation of the righteous comes from the LORD; he is their stronghold in time of trouble. 

Psalm 59:16
But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble. 

Psalm 62:8
Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.

So come to this conclusion.  I am to wait.  I am to wait patiently and be productive in the time.  As I know this is a weakness of mine, I will work to build my patience for this.  

You may have to help me.

Do YOU have trouble waiting for something to happen?  Do you struggle for patience in the face of frustration?  Let's join together to triumphantly WAIT for God's timing!

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