I am the self-appointed judge of the feet....both fair and foul.
Feet were all created perfectly. I have proof.
Admit it. You want to kiss these little toes. No one is immune to the adorable nature of baby feet. No one will hesitate to scoop up the little piggys to admire their cuteness, nor do we give second thought to bring those toes to our lips to kiss or to blow raspberries against the soles of giggly digits.
|These 4 year old toes are adorable.|
|These little 5 year old toes are just too cute|
Some things about our feet are simply up to our DNA. I do not hold against you those things that you inherit. Whether you have a super long big toe, or itsy bitsy toes, I chalk it up to your family genetics. I do not care if you have a weird third toe, short toes or a wide foot. I have a dear friend with the cutest stubby little toes. But when her polish chips, Rosey no longer holds her friend's toes in high esteem. People tell me all the time to not look at their feet, because they have ugly feet. If you have a weird long toe or one that is different, that's just genetics. My beef is with the people who don't take CARE of their feet. When I have friends and family who do not take care of their feet and I call them on it. My closest friends and I laugh over my thing about feet. And they don't think I notice when they promptly slide their feet under their chairs. :) Makes me wonder what's going on under those socks and shoes.
|Seriously? Trim those nails.|
|There's so much wrong with this photo, ewwww|
those heels need to be scrubbed... for a year! and
I'm not talking about the shoes.
|Toes do not have to be polished for feet to be judged "nice". |
They must have trimmed toenails and smooth heels,
and all around smooth skin.
|Absolutely adorable and I would stop her to tell her so.|
I do restrain myself from approaching THOSE people, in public. I have not walked up to a stranger *yet anyway* to announce...they have been awarded a spot on Rosey's Grody Foot Alert. But I don't share that info with them. No need to embarrass a stranger or put Mr. Rosey in a position of having to defend me should someone take SERIOUS offense to my award. I do not judge feet on their shape, or oddities. But on the grooming and condition of the skin.
|Heels so dry and cracked they are starting to fissure.|
I have also not walked up to anyone asking them to take off their shoes so I might inspect their feet. But if you put the feet out there...you are putting them out there for comment. If I know you well, I may scold you for letting them fall into such a disreputable condition. :)
- I promise to always wear sandals that fit.
- My toes will not hang over and touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the backs. And the sides and tops of my feet will not pudge out between the straps.
- I will go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh, intact and chip-free. I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe.
- I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and yellow.
- I will shave the hairs off my big toe.
- I won't wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend, coworker, mother, sister tells me the toe seam really will stay under my toes if I tuck it the real good. (NOTE: Sandalfoot pantyhose are acceptable :-))
- If a strap breaks, I won't duct-tape, pin, glue or tuck it back into place hoping it will stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or toss it.
- I will not live in corn denial, rather I will lean on my good friend Dr. Scholls if my feet need him.
- I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at Payless for the low, low price of $4.99 even if my feet are small enough to fit into the kids' sizes. This is out of concern for my safety, and the safety of others. No one can walk properly when standing in a pool of sweat and I would hate to take someone down with me as I fall and break my ankle.
- Should I fail in the immediate preceding pledge and purchase jelly shoes, I resolve to ever remove my shoes with other's in the immediate area. When people comment about a smell of sweaty feet I resolve to throw my jellies away regardless of what cute color they may be.
- I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toes swell and begin to look like Vienna sausages.
I start out filling this huge white plastic bowl with warm/hot water. It's probably 2 ft across. I pop in couple of those pink fizzle tablets. These came from Mary Kay and they make your skin soft. But similar fizzles can be purchased at Sally's Beauty Supply. Both feet go in and it's time to surf the web. After 20 minutes or so, I lift out one foot, dry it and then trim down the toenails. *Diabetics can have their toenails cut by the doctor, otherwise use extreme caution clipping your own* Back into the bath and repeat with the other foot.
|Add to the water to soften feet|
|Couldn't find my orange stick to photograph so I grabbed|
the plastic one. Same use, push back the cuticles and scrub any
grime out from around and under the nails.
Don't forget the toes...rub the towel briskly over and between them. Don't gag when you look at the towel again. Though it shouldn't have to be said, it does. If your feet sting or hurt when you file at them, STOP filing. You can file the skin raw if you don't pay attention.
Finish with a topping of Oh So Wet. It's a super shiny top coat. Yes. It IS 5 layers of polish. My pedicures do not rub away.
|This is a portion of my "tool kit". Truth is I also have a whole other|
bin of polishes and nail stuff. *embarrassed*
It's not a quick job. If I need it done quickly I go to a salon. I find a chick flick is a great time to work on my feet. When the polishes are dry, remove the vaseline or rub it in. Then smooth a good body cream into the foot and pull on thick socks. If you REALLY want to give your feet the salon treatment...pull bread sacks over your feet and let them marinate in the cream for a while. But it's nearly impossible to walk with the plastic on the feet. If you are like me and very likely have been swigging sweet tea while doing all this, you need to be prepared to run to the bathroom....to lose the tea so to speak. ;)
Finally to quote Jeff Foxworthy
If your toenails are 4 different colors and you NOT wearing polishes? Just say NO to sandals!