Chasing Sleep

Tonight, I sit in a quiet room and my jaw comes nearly undone with yawn that unhinges me.  I am sleepy.  To some of you in perpetual sleepiness this may seem mundane, but I have found how joyful it is to be sleepy.  To get sleep, zzz's or shut eye, it is a blessing.

The first week of August something happened inside my head (Mr. Rosey tells me that is a rare occurrence of any sort).  I lost the ability to get sleepy.  I would dress for bed, lay down and my brain would take off to the races.  I made lists, counted those cute Serta sheep, quoted Scripture, sang, tried to do long division (gave up on that), I planned menus and grocery lists...and eventually I would get mad.

I would get up and find myself doing dishes, shampooing carpet, or just reading at 2 am, . 

Sleep was ever so elusive and fleeting.  Sometimes I would be exhausted and tumble into bed, falling into an exhausted heap and drift off into nothingness.  But then awaken in a startle anywhere between 45 minutes to 2 hours later.  A good night of sleep became 5 hours.  I wasn't functioning on that amount.  Worse, I experienced the occasional day where I slept 2 hours over a 48 hour time frame.

I lost my sparkle.

My diva was drowning in stupefied stupidity.  

By the middle of October, I was dragging through the days in endless monotony.  I was fighting other battles as well.  I hurt all over, my blood glucose levels were going through the roof and I required nearly twice the insulin.  Despite the high glucose, I was starving and eating frequently...and gaining weight as well.  Every movement seemed to require superhuman effort.  I became convinced I'd contracted some wretched, horribly debilitating disease over the internet.

I came face to face with the fact that the human body not only needs sleep, it is a necessity.



I tried the Melatonin, benedryl, chamomile tea.  I tried all three together.  I tried napping and not napping.  I tried hot showers and still my pillows sat lonely.  I sent a desperate email to my doctor, who kindly faxed a sleeping aid to the pharmacy.  I followed the directions and I slept for 9 hours!

I was dancing through the hallway.  Yes!  I found an answer.  I took it the next night and still slept, but when the sun rose the next day, Rosey did not.  I got up, staggered to the family room, bouncing off corners on the way and fell onto the couch.

I sat...staring at the fish tank.  

That was all I accomplished.  

I have no memory of how I passed the day, apparently sitting for 6 hours staring at angelfish.  Mr. Rosey came home and sometime after his arrival I realized the incessant buzzing I heard was him.  He had been talking.  I turned my bleary, bloodshot eyes toward him and asked "huh?"  

"Do you have something planned for dinner," he asked me.

I replied again, "huh?"

Mr. Rosey made me see the doctor.  I left with another script in my weary hands with great hopes.  Frankly, I was skeptical but willing to try.  So I took the pill, and an hour later began to yawn.  I wasn't feeling sleepy, but gargantuan yawns threatened to overtake my face.  So I laid down.

I woke sometime in the wee hours of the morning realizing I had been asleep.  At first the days were a little challenging but for a week, night after night I was going to bed and falling asleep like normal people.  I'm pretty certain I heard angelic chores rejoicing over my sleep.

It had positive results.  I began to focus.  I began to move.  I found myself able to work on a chore and actually complete it.  I noticed my blood sugar levels were falling, and my hunger was lessening.  The aches and pains were diminishing and after 3 days of deep sleep I awoke with no pain.  I have slept nightly for 7 days.  I'm feeling better.

Yesterday, the Diva woke up.  

I threw a tantrum while trying to style my hair for an appointment.  Rosey stood up within me and demanded that I go get my hair cut.  So after my doctor appointment, I went for a hair appointment.  I was very pleased with this new hair dresser and when I left...I'm pretty sure I felt a glimmer of a sparkle.

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