Tonight, I sit in a quiet room and my jaw comes nearly undone with yawn that unhinges me. I am sleepy. To some of you in perpetual sleepiness this may seem mundane, but I have found how joyful it is to be sleepy. To get sleep, zzz's or shut eye, it is a blessing.
The first week of August something happened inside my head (Mr. Rosey tells me that is a rare occurrence of any sort). I lost the ability to get sleepy. I would dress for bed, lay down and my brain would take off to the races. I made lists, counted those cute Serta sheep, quoted Scripture, sang, tried to do long division (gave up on that), I planned menus and grocery lists...and eventually I would get mad.
Sleep was ever so elusive and fleeting. Sometimes I would be exhausted and tumble into bed, falling into an exhausted heap and drift off into nothingness. But then awaken in a startle anywhere between 45 minutes to 2 hours later. A good night of sleep became 5 hours. I wasn't functioning on that amount. Worse, I experienced the occasional day where I slept 2 hours over a 48 hour time frame.
By the middle of October, I was dragging through the days in endless monotony. I was fighting other battles as well. I hurt all over, my blood glucose levels were going through the roof and I required nearly twice the insulin. Despite the high glucose, I was starving and eating frequently...and gaining weight as well. Every movement seemed to require superhuman effort. I became convinced I'd contracted some wretched, horribly debilitating disease over the internet.
I came face to face with the fact that the human body not only needs sleep, it is a necessity.
I tried the Melatonin, benedryl, chamomile tea. I tried all three together. I tried napping and not napping. I tried hot showers and still my pillows sat lonely. I sent a desperate email to my doctor, who kindly faxed a sleeping aid to the pharmacy. I followed the directions and I slept for 9 hours!
I was dancing through the hallway. Yes! I found an answer. I took it the next night and still slept, but when the sun rose the next day, Rosey did not. I got up, staggered to the family room, bouncing off corners on the way and fell onto the couch.
"Do you have something planned for dinner," he asked me.
I replied again, "huh?"
Mr. Rosey made me see the doctor. I left with another script in my weary hands with great hopes. Frankly, I was skeptical but willing to try. So I took the pill, and an hour later began to yawn. I wasn't feeling sleepy, but gargantuan yawns threatened to overtake my face. So I laid down.
I woke sometime in the wee hours of the morning realizing I had been asleep. At first the days were a little challenging but for a week, night after night I was going to bed and falling asleep like normal people. I'm pretty certain I heard angelic chores rejoicing over my sleep.
It had positive results. I began to focus. I began to move. I found myself able to work on a chore and actually complete it. I noticed my blood sugar levels were falling, and my hunger was lessening. The aches and pains were diminishing and after 3 days of deep sleep I awoke with no pain. I have slept nightly for 7 days. I'm feeling better.
Yesterday, the Diva woke up.
I threw a tantrum while trying to style my hair for an appointment. Rosey stood up within me and demanded that I go get my hair cut. So after my doctor appointment, I went for a hair appointment. I was very pleased with this new hair dresser and when I left...I'm pretty sure I felt a glimmer of a sparkle.