Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking. Today the prompt is Wonder.
Start
This time of year is difficult for me as it holds so many painful memories. Deaths, devastating surgeries, tragedies...all have piled onto the month of December over the years of my marriage. I saw the prompt for today's 5 Minute Friday and thought...oh joy. More pressure to perform as immediate the concept...the WONDER of Christmas filled my mind. I shook it away. It hurts to think about it.
Today I'm preparing cookie batter for a Family Baking day. My sisters will join together tomorrow in one of their churches (multiple ovens) and we will spend the day, baking. We will also spend the day laughing and complaining about the need for poise pads now we've all born our children and looking the number 50 square in the face.
This morning, to help my mind prepare for this cookie extravaganza, I put on Spotify...the internet based, listener selected radio. Young Miss Jackie Evancho began to sing O Come All Ye Faithful. The pure tone of her voice drew me away from the kitchen like nectar draws a bee. I found myself standing in front of my computer, which was silly as there's no graphics to the station. But I closed my eyes and let her voice sweep over me. Lifting me from the clutter of my family room into the throne room of God.
Oh Come All Ye Faithful.
Today I'm preparing cookie batter for a Family Baking day. My sisters will join together tomorrow in one of their churches (multiple ovens) and we will spend the day, baking. We will also spend the day laughing and complaining about the need for poise pads now we've all born our children and looking the number 50 square in the face.
This morning, to help my mind prepare for this cookie extravaganza, I put on Spotify...the internet based, listener selected radio. Young Miss Jackie Evancho began to sing O Come All Ye Faithful. The pure tone of her voice drew me away from the kitchen like nectar draws a bee. I found myself standing in front of my computer, which was silly as there's no graphics to the station. But I closed my eyes and let her voice sweep over me. Lifting me from the clutter of my family room into the throne room of God.
Oh Come All Ye Faithful.
My hearts pounds, the gooseflesh rises on my arms and a tiny seed sprouts within me. Wonder.
This month holds many memories of pain and I feel so UNCHRISTIAN to tell you how much I have come to dislike having to celebration of the birth of Christ in THIS month. I want to feel something inside, something that I can celebrate.
The Wonder. As her clear, uncomplicated tone sweeps over me, I am reminded that one day I will stand with others...and our voices will raise in celebration to our Father and to our Savior. I will shed the pain of earth and life and be filled with wonder to stand before them and lift my voice with all who have gone before me. My voice will rise with the same beauty of Jackie, Patti, Charlotte, or Susan.
This month holds many memories of pain and I feel so UNCHRISTIAN to tell you how much I have come to dislike having to celebration of the birth of Christ in THIS month. I want to feel something inside, something that I can celebrate.
The Wonder. As her clear, uncomplicated tone sweeps over me, I am reminded that one day I will stand with others...and our voices will raise in celebration to our Father and to our Savior. I will shed the pain of earth and life and be filled with wonder to stand before them and lift my voice with all who have gone before me. My voice will rise with the same beauty of Jackie, Patti, Charlotte, or Susan.
And this my dearheart, is a balm to this hurting heart.
Stop
This week this little bit showed up on my facebook wall. I love flash mobs anyway but this one brought tears to my eyes as they included a special guest who appears about 4.26. There is a young man who responds at 4:41 in such a way that caught a sob in my throat. I share this with you...
Just lovely, dear friend. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteOh, friend my heart breaks for you! I'm thankful that God redeemed today for you through music... it is always such a balm to the soul.
ReplyDeleteps... I have always wanted to be there for a flash mob! :)
Tina, I'm just wondering, have you ever researched the true history of Advent? I've only recently been introduced to the huge significance of it all...but the beginning of it is the keening...wailing with hope, there is nothing wrong with being wonder-filled and grief-filled at the same moment I think maybe that's what the keening is all about. And then there is the separating ourselves from those things that hold us back from fully receiving Christ. Then comes the pondering of the oracles - the prophecies of what is to come and what our part is in bringing the revelation into the present. Then comes the welcoming and then the remembering of those who were lost - boxing day is historically a feast to remember the loss of the innocents. There's a lot of richness here that may help heal some of that pain. Beauty helps to fill those trenches. I pray that God would lend you much beauty this season dear one!
ReplyDeleteVisiting from FMF. Absolutely loved this. Thanks for sharing. From one Rosey to another. Rosanne
ReplyDeleteHi dear Rosey
ReplyDeleteYour words is sooo inspiring in its honesty and vulnerability without trying to jazz anything up that cannot be jazzed up. Pain is pain is pain and it HURTS, full stop!
Your longing to be authentic in your celebration is so touching, suck naked honesty! Beautiful!! Thank you. I am also just a little few months away from facing the number 50 and looking forward. Then I can be officially "...OLD..."!
Bless you and all your cookie baking friends.
Mia
In awe and wonder with you.
ReplyDelete