The Next Surgical Step - Fat Graph Transfer

Hello to my Blogger Breast Buddies!

I interrupt this week's Pink Ribbons release for an current event.  At the release of this blog update, I am preparing for my next surgery.  Many people, me included believe that reconstruction is one surgery and BOOM! 

New Boobs!!!  

Trust me in this, most of society believes that as well.  I have been "encouraged" by multiples of strange women wishing me well on the great and "free" boob job I would get in exchange for breast cancer.  "You're soooo lucky" they tell me.  Ha!  I'd like to show them my luck!

I'm not familiar with the details of other forms of reconstruction.  I refer to my reconstruction with implants.  If you are familiar with my story, you know I have breast cancer.  In 2010, I went through chemo, and then had a bilateral mastectomy with immediate reconstruction.  That's its own story.  I had immediate reconstruction with tissue expanders that stayed in a LONG time due to radiation.

Last July (2012) I had the surgical exchange of the tissue expanders to the implants.  The initial result looks nothing like a breast, but more like a biscuit or pancake.  It is a LONG process for implants to drop and fluff and start resembling breasts.  It was around week 13 that I said, wow...there's been a long of change; I'm fitting in a bra like a normal boob.  For anyone going through implants, I recommend photographing yourself each week to see your progress.

Most people think the implant is the end and perhaps if you are fortunate, it would be.  But most people have to have some kind of "Revisions" to fix things that didn't go as supposed.  I was recently asked "So why are you having more surgery ANYWAY?"  It was rather hurtful to have it phrased to me that way, as if I should just be done with it.  I am having surgery because we do not have a successful result yet.  One side is tolerable...not wonderful but I'm satisfied with how it fits in a bra.  But the right radiated side has not done well.

In my case, radiation caused excessive scarring that distorted the skin so severely, the implant could not position itself properly in the muscle pocket. This has caused pain, immobility and generally made me miserable.  This motivated me to name the implants.  Glinda (the good) sits on the left side and Maxine (the cranky) is the radiated side.  Click the link to see a shot of my distorted breast implant. 

Rosey's Radiated Breast Damage 

 Revealing Size and Contour Discrepancy

Close view of Leathering, Tethering, and Contracture

The skin is so scarred that essentially it feels like there's a strap across the implant holding it tight against the rib cage.  The implant is unable to drop and expand.  Because it is held against the ribs, it won't fit into the bra properly and requires padding to even out the contour.    You can see this effect by clicking this link 

Rosey's favorite bra - The Caitlyn  

Friday (the 7th) I will be undergoing fat graph transfer surgery to attempt recover that skin with new stem cells harvested from my personal "fat farm" I have been cultivating around my middle.  The hoped for outcome is that injecting the harvested fat and stem cells will stimulate new fat growth with new SKIN cells to even out the contour and replace the damaged skin.  I am already aware it may take several of these surgeries generally more than 3 months apart to repair this kind of damage.

I have included a video of the surgery.  It is live surgery; please avoid it if you are unable to tolerate watching surgical procedures.

The actual transfer building and repairing the breast implant and skin repair in this second video.  

Again same warning as the previous.

This is the next step in breast reconstruction.  Just another page in the long process that I have begun to realize doesn't really end.  You just move from one process to another.

But it is another surgery.  I plan to strut into the clinic with my hospital gown and my pink Boa!  I'm not exactly looking forward to recovering from the liposuction part of this.  I have a wonderful husband who plans to pamper me through the weekend.  I expect to recover quickly from the few hundred punctures with those garden hose sized needles, along with the small incisions.  But I would appreciate your prayers for an uneventful recovery.  

Next week, I'll be back to the Pink Ribbons talking about the night before that first Chemo infusion.

Addendum - I am doing these fat graph revisions because the radiation damage is severe enough that my only other recourse is to undergo a completely different reconstruction.  The remaining option for me involves serious flap transfer surgeries that scare me a bit.  So I'm trying these lesser surgeries first and praying for good responses.

Family Baking Day 2012

2010 Family Baking Day (The First One)

This is the last photo I have of mom.  This was Dec  4th and if you look closely you can see the shadows of eternity in her eyes.  She left us to twirl on streets of gold just 13 days after this photo was taken.  Now that I recall WHEN this photo was taken, I would dare say this was taken nearly the same HOUR she left us just 13 days later.

I was going through chemo and this photo was taken of ME just 2 days before I underwent the most massive surgical procedure of my life.  I had a bilateral mastectomy with immediate reconstruction.  My bigger fear was that mom would pass away while I was undergoing my surgery

Mom survived until I saw her again...in fact she waited until the first day I was recovered enough to make the ride out to see her...11 days after my surgery.  I got to sweep her into my arms...gently for both of our accounts.  She breathed my name.  She died that night while we were preparing dinner.

Family Baking Day came at my mom's request.  Death was not sneaking upon her unaware.  She knew the specter was stalking her.  Earlier that year she had me organize her Christmas decorations and divide them among my sisters.  My sister Becky could not stand the barrenness of the home, between she and other sisters they decorated mom's home in holiday fashion.  Mom had but one request.

"Do you think all you girls could gather in the kitchen and bake?  I would love it to smell and sound like Christmas."  We made sure everyone gathered.

In many ways for us that year, this day turned out to BE Christmas.  We teased and laughed, cried and hugged.  The house filled and swelled with scents of cinnamon, peppermint, chocolate and sugar.  The windows rattled with soft whispers of love and loud shouts of laughter.  The house was overly warm already because mom's body couldn't produce heat.  She was chilled.  I moved from a wig and hat to a hat, and finally to a plain pink scarf.   It was a lovely day.

Then I said good bye to my mother.  I never expected to see her again this side of eternity.  I dragged out the good bye until it was simply necessary.  I held back my sobs while I hugged and held my mother that time.  One look at my face and each of my three sisters lost it.  They were already teary.  But they knew my fears and what was in my heart.  I raised my head to see them hanging on to each other and shaking in their own grief.  They knew I was saying goodbye.

It had been a lovely day, but it was a lousy trip home.

Mom passed away on Dec. 17, 2010.  If they celebrate Christ's birth in Heaven, she was at the biggest party of her life.

We decided to make Family Baking Day, a tradition.

Family Baking Day 2011

Family Baking Day 2012

We teased, giggle, chortled and guffawed   We shared stories, memories and tears.  We listened to songs we remembered from our childhood.  We sweat from hot flashes spurred on by multiple ovens.  We took turns running to a bathroom to empty bladders weakened by laughter.  At one point, we stopped to imagine my mom, their mom, (both had died in December) watching our antics from Heaven.  We would see them pointing, laughing until their bladders weakened, and elbowing each other as they watched us.  We could see them suddenly turn to each other and exclaim.."Why didn't we do this while we were ALIVE!"

Over 300 cookies were baked, divided and sent home with each group.  It will be a week before we crash from the sugar high.

Here's to Family Baking Day...the sharing of memories and the making of new ones.
                                                                                                                                                                                               
     

Five Minute Friday - Wonder

Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking. Today the prompt is Wonder.

Start

This time of year is difficult for me as it holds so many painful memories.  Deaths, devastating surgeries, tragedies...all have piled onto the month of December over the years of my marriage.  I saw the prompt for today's 5 Minute Friday and thought...oh joy.  More pressure to perform as immediate the concept...the WONDER of Christmas filled my mind.  I shook it away.  It hurts to think about it.

Today I'm preparing cookie batter for a Family Baking day.  My sisters will join together tomorrow in one of their churches (multiple ovens) and we will spend the day, baking.  We will also spend the day laughing and complaining about the need for poise pads now we've all born our children and looking the number 50 square in the face.

This morning, to help my mind prepare for this cookie extravaganza, I put on Spotify...the internet based, listener selected radio.  Young Miss Jackie Evancho began to sing O Come All Ye Faithful.  The pure tone of her voice drew me away from the kitchen like nectar draws a bee.  I found myself standing in front of my computer, which was silly as there's no graphics to the station.  But I closed my eyes and let her voice sweep over me.  Lifting me from the clutter of my family room into the throne room of God.  

Oh Come All Ye Faithful.

My hearts pounds, the gooseflesh rises on my arms and a tiny seed sprouts within me.  Wonder.

This month holds many memories of pain and I feel so UNCHRISTIAN to tell you how much I have come to dislike having to celebration of the birth of Christ in THIS month.  I want to feel something inside, something that I can celebrate.

The Wonder.  As her clear, uncomplicated tone sweeps over me, I am reminded that one day I will stand with others...and our voices will raise in celebration to our Father and to our Savior.  I will shed the pain of earth and life and be filled with wonder to stand before them and lift my voice with all who have gone before me. My voice will rise with the same beauty of Jackie, Patti, Charlotte, or Susan.

And this my dearheart, is a balm to this hurting heart.  

Stop

This week this little bit showed up on my facebook wall.  I love flash mobs anyway but this one brought tears to my eyes as they included a special guest who appears about 4.26.  There is a young man who responds at 4:41 in such a way that caught a sob in my throat.  I share this with you...

Pink Ribbons ~ Discussing the "Girls"

Pink Ribbons is a feature series I have started that is posted every Thursday.  I am a Pink Ribbon Warrior, having gone through the chemo, surgery, radiation, the year of waiting and recently stage 2 reconstruction...which I find is really the first of many little surgeries.  I am at a place in my life where I am willing to open my journal from that time and share with you my anger, fears, challenges and pain of finding out you have cancer.   These are not current events.  This is me sharing with you from the other side of breast cancer.


August 2010

Well, we bought a recliner. I spent more than I thought was necessary but Mr. R was persistent. This puppy is soft and it is a Cadillac model as well. I mean it has massage and heat as well as a mini cooler. Okay the cooler is basically an insulated well with these ridged chillers. You freeze those and slip them in the well along with my protein shakes and the only reason to get out of it will be to use the toilet.

I balked a little at the price. But Mr. R is aware of my fears about bone pain. He sold me with "consider how that heat and massage will feel if your bones are hurting." And it was something to consider. K told me that I needed some comforts as well as a plain recliner. So it will arrive Friday morning before I leave for the chemo appointment.

It was bittersweet buying the recliner. I mean the salesmen wanted me to be excited. But it was hard when you are buying a recliner because the chemo center tells you a recliner works best for people coping with chemo.  I wasn't just buying a recliner for the world series. I'm getting this to help me recover through chemo and a half dozen horrendous scary surgeries. I'm glad to know I will be in the lap of comfort but I couldn't muster up the will to do a cartwheel for the sales crew. I finally told them I was getting this to help me recover and they quieted down about all the "Aren't you excited? My husband hasn't bought ME a recliner!"

My shoulder is in spasms again. There must also be a nerve very close to the port. With arm movement I get a zinger that moves from the port area down across the shoulder. I was ready to come home and rest again. I still feel like a wienie.

Got a letter from the insurance company. They graciously agreed to pay for the big expensive injections I'm getting. One to prevent nausea....that's $400 but they apparently cover at 100% under major medical. The other...the Neulasta is the bone marrow medicine that is supposed to cause the bone pain - its $1500 at retail. But apparently it too will be covered as major medical.  Thank the Lord for Insurance.

The nutrition stuff with chemo is a little overwhelming. They over stress the importance of protecting yourself from infection. I can't eat at buffets or salad bars. Where I might be able to fight a little bug from unwashed salad pieces or the tomatoes that didn't get washed well, on chemo I can't. So I have to buy processed salads not fresh deli. They suggest no deli at all in fact.

Eating out isn't even easy. I mean the guidelines say to insist that hot food is hot and cold is icy. No medium rare meats, no mayo or dairy based foods. This is gonna stink! I had another word in mind but in diffidence to those of you who don't like crude words...I'm avoiding it. But boy I'm thinking it. Something about this experience is bringing out the potty mouth in me.

Although I still feel modest. They said they will spray the port area down with a freeze spray and I'm thinking...they don't expect me to expose the girls do they? I mean yes... I am getting rid of them and building new ones but for right now...they are still mine.

I was reading a user manual on breasts and found interesting stuff.

The author hates self breast exams as promoted by breast cancer advocates. She says....it's a "fear promoting hunt for cancer" that every woman who does one, does it in self loathing. Instead, she believes women from puberty on should be taught simply to know their own set of breasts. It's okay to touch them without "hunting for cancer" and feeling sick that you might find something. I know I was that way...doing the exam almost haphazardly hoping I would find nothing.

The whole self exam was created by a doctor a couple centuries ago because women were taught it was "nasty" to touch down there...and "down there" meant anything under the chin. So they would finally go to a doctor so riddled with cancer they couldn't ignore it anymore. The doctor came up with the self exam as a way to satisfy the puritanical need to avoid sexuality by making it only a medical exam. It's okay to touch your breasts this way because it's medical....not sexual.

So she believes that our daughters should be taught to examine their breasts...not to look for cancer. From puberty they should be taught to understand what was normal for their breasts.  Then knowing what was normal they can identify changes that don't necessarily mean cancer....but that something changed and  it needs to get checked out.

Self Breast Exams

It wouldn't make a difference to me. Although it does frustrate me that so much emphasis is placed on breast LUMPS. 20% of us have a cancer that doesn't grow lumps. I DO think its interesting that in the early spring or so that I noted to KJ that I wasn't aware my right breast was hanging so much lower than the left. Had it always been that way? He didn't know. Now I find out there's cancer in that one and I can't help but wonder....was that realization a recognition that something had changed?  But I did not know this change in appearance was a sign of lobular cancer.

5 surprising signs of breast cancer

So what do you plan to teach your daughters about their breasts?

Meeshia:   I am being honest here (don't throw anything at me), but I very rarely have ever done a breast exam.  I guess it is because no one in my family has had breast cancer (lots of other cancers) but not BC.  So, I do it whenever I remember.  So maybe this will be a good time for all of us girls in my house to take some time to really get to know their bodies.

Rosey:  According to my book 70 - 82% of breast cancer diagnoses are those with no family history. It's truly sporadic as to who gets it and when. The other group of women know they are at risk and look for signs. Thus they are more likely to find them earlier than someone like yourself, who mistakenly believes they aren't at a high risk to develop cancer.

My only question for those like yourself or other moms with young daughters, would be how to explain what is a "normal breast". I couldn't recommend this book...Dr. Susan Love Breast book. Mainly because while it does talk of what is normal the majority of the book is about the abnormal. Which as a teenager it would have been ripe data for an overactive mind. I would have read ahead and scared myself. But not all girls would have been as bad as I am.

Tracy:

I've never done an "official" self exam because my breasts are lumpy and it freaks me out. HOWEVER, I do know what is normal for me and what is not.  The left one has always been bigger, etc etc. I do believe I'd know if something was "off". I got to know the girls very well while nursing. I had a lot of infections and plugged ducts and was feeling up myself a lot back then   My ob/gyn actually advocates what you do~knowing your breasts enough to know if something is wrong, but not necessarily doing an official "exam".

Rosey:

I don't know how I would teach a dd how to "know her breasts". Mine have always been nobby and when you press in on the tissue you feel all those nobs and bumps.

Did you know once a woman has breast fed a child she is capable of producing milk at any other point in her life? Once we have breast fed we continue to have circulating prolactin. If you squeeze or suckle the nipple, we release oxytocin which will increase the prolactin production. If you increase it enough you can continue to lactate for years. I knew that but don't think I realized it was so easy. Dang, I could have put K to work.....make me lactate and use up those ice cream calories! bwa ha ha...wouldn't that startle our dh's!  Not to mention some companies out there pays good money for breast milk to sell for sick premies.  Or you can donate directly to a NICU after you are tested.

Abeybabymama:  That must be how they had wet nurses back in the olden times. That seems so odd now to think of someone else nursing your baby.

Thanks giving!

Sometimes I just want to say: "Yep, that is a 1st world problem. We don't feel sorry for you." ` Marcey Combs

I chuckled over this quote that showed up on my facebook wall.  My young friend Marcey was irritated at complaints they were not able to get to shop black Friday sales.  I laughed as my brain began to explode with other example of First World problems crowded into my skull.

stock photo

My dishwasher is broke!

My Mercedes was delivered in the wrong color!

The stores didn't carry the pumps in my size or the color I wanted.

stock photo

There's no ketchup for my french fries!

The ice maker in my fridge is broke!

You put Mayo on my burger when I asked for mustard!

stock photo

Do these jeans make my butt look big?

Some extreme couponer took all my favorite jelly off the shelves.

I'm not drinking any milk with today's expiration date!

Humor me, share some of your examples of your 1st World problems.  Then take a moment to be grateful that you are complaining about such trivial things.  This is my thanksgiving.  I will not point out the state of our nation or how fragile our economy is.  I'm not going to dwell on the changes that may well change our families, our communities and our holidays.  THIS thanksgiving, I am grateful for the blessings I have, so that my complaints and grousing are trivial in nature.

Pink Ribbons ~ Impatience!

Pink Ribbons is a feature series I have started that is posted every Wed.  I am a Pink Ribbon Warrior, having gone through the chemo, surgery, radiation, the year of waiting and recently stage 2 reconstruction...which I find is really the first of many little surgeries.  I am at a place in my life where I am willing to open my journal from that time and share with you my anger, fears, challenges and pain of finding out you have cancer.   These are not current events.  This is me sharing with you from the other side of breast cancer.

August 2010
I have concluded that I am an impatient person. I want to feel normal today and I don't. grrr

I believe I am recovering well.  I have progressed from the narcotic pain meds to IB now. I took the narcotic at bedtime yesterday but the rest of the day I used IB. One of the problems is that my whole shoulder area is in spasms. I know my tissues are sensitive. Some might remember how my lap band surgery went bad because my stomach swelled shut?   I wound up in the hospital for 4 days getting IV fluids and steroids to reduce the swelling.  It seems that anything inside my body will react by swelling and spasming.  It feels like sewing the port down to the pectoralis muscle has sent that whole cluster of muscles into spasm. At first it was just all pain. But now I can tell a difference between muscle spasms and the pain around the port.

So I asked Mr. Rosey last night, "Since I have a muscle relaxer script for my back, do you think it would help with these muscle spasms too?"

He thought it should. His specific answer was, "The pill doesn't know it's prescribed for back spasms and you're taking it for the shoulder."  Well duh, that's what happens being married to a pharmacy tech.   So I took the muscle relaxer.  That helped ...a lot.

I'm trying to small things around the house today. Dishes, for starters. Picking up the Sunday paper for another. But I'm sitting to rest after each chore.

I also need to set timers for 2 hours to remind myself to pee. I have to train myself to pee (during chemo) every 2 hours whether I feel like it or not... it keeps the chemo from burning the bladder lining.   hissss...sounds painful.

I'm starting to get nervous/ anxious. Not sure what to expect from chemo. But I'm worried about that bone shot I'm to get the next day. They said it WILL cause bone pain, we just dont know to what degree. :( So I'm stewing over it.

In those first two years after I fell and the nerves in the legs were dying....I was in so much nerve pain. There was little to be done about it. I would lie writhing on my bed and just sob from the pain. I keep asking God...we aren't going back there are we? The nurse said they will medicate for the bone pain if it gets intense. sigh. I just don't want pain at all.

But I'm impatient to GET ON WITH IT!  It's been diagnosed, decided and scheduled.  I'm tired of limbo.  I can't get THROUGH this until I START this.  augh.

The only Good Impatience

Meeshia:

I prayed for you every day that I saw my bracelet on.  I am glad that the IB is working for you.   I'm still praying Rosie.  I'm so grateful that you have so many ladies praying for you.   Storming the gates of heaven for you!  (((((Tina))))

Beth: Continuing prayers for you, friend. Thank you for your faithful updates. Love you!

Rink Ribbons ~ Rosey and the 6 # Port

Pink Ribbons is a feature series I have started that is posted every Wed.  I am a Pink Ribbon Warrior, having gone through the chemo, surgery, radiation, the year of waiting and recently stage 2 reconstruction...which I find is really the first of many little surgeries.  I am at a place in my life where I am willing to open my journal from that time and share with you my anger, fears, challenges and pain of finding out you have cancer.  At the end of the post, you will find the links of the previous posts from the most recent first and going back.  These are not current events.  This is me sharing with you from the other side of breast cancer.

The chemo class is done, the port surgery is over, I've seen the radiation doctor.

I have been kind of quiet today and my pain is a lot better.  I still need pain meds but I'm staying controlled.  I'm not hugging the ice pack today... AND I got my own shower this morning.... And dressed by myself.  

So yeah... I'm doing a lot better.

I've been thinking about the radiation oncologist visit yesterday and how wonderful he was. He opened my scans on his computer and showed them to us. He showed me where I could have positive lymph nodes but that I did not. The technology is amazing. He could look inside my body as slices or as a tunnel going down through my head through the center of the neck down the chest and abdomen. Pretty cool. He was so gentle and encouraging. I was in so much pain at the visit (post port surgery) but I did feel blessed.

No one generally goes into cancer treatment with

 a list of doctors to use. 

You kind of have to rely on God to provide the best for you. Even the young high school student surgeon was pleasant. But my oncologist has been a blessing. KJ is fond of saying I'm being cared for by Jesus, Mary and Joseph. Dr. Joe's wife Mary - also an oncologist, had breast cancer herself last year. So they know the cancer from the professional AND the personal side.

Mr. Rosey's needle came out yesterday morning. So I had to pull it out. It was a little close to home for me. But my needle won't stay in for 4 days like his. Mine comes out right after chemo is over. But I'm feeling a little chicken about the needle thing. I'm going to use his cream AND the freezey spray that they use.

I felt like a wienie this morning. I had been taking the pain med around the clock and feeling better. Mr. Rosey's Nurse commented that I should be able to withdraw off that. So I skipped the next dose when I took my nap today.  I woke up feeling unable to move. He fussed at me.....this nurse is a wonderful friend but she is one of those athletic, outdoorsey people who thinks a "20 mile hike and camp weekend is a good time" kind of woman. She's tougher than I am.  Mr. Rosey told me "until she has surgery and a port put in...I'm not to listen to her over what my body tells me I need." he he he.  She means well. 

Maryland Crab:
Oh, Rosey, I'm in just such a positive, great mood for you.  I hate when people say this, but sometimes godincidences just line up as a way to let you know God is all over this situation.  I was up at 3am praying for you (guess that was 2am your time)  I just couldn't sleep, then we got some good news that tickled me and just made me feel warm and fuzzy that God is in on this situation.  Even if we don't like it in the first place.  I know, easy for me to say, but sometimes you may need outsiders to see the signs.

fragrantroses wrote:

---

"until she has surgery and a port put in...I'm not to listen to her over what my body tells me I need."   he he he.

You are no weenie. And definitely listen to your own body over what anyone says. I know some people can take 2 Vicodin ES and that is what I had prescribed sometime or other during my health issues and I couldn't even tolerate 1/2 of one of those things b/c my tummy got all nauseated (and yes, I took with food) but the icky feeling was worse than the pain.

And I've been praying for you sweet Rosey and I hope that your port healing continues to go well. I'm so glad that is over. I wish it hadn't been a 1 pm surgery. That NPO stuff is tough and with your diabetes,.... welll..... it's done and I won't fuss about it. You're not fussing about it!

Anyway... love you girl!

Rosey:
Ack. This is an urgent message! They gave me a 6 lb port! I checked my weight and I'm 6 lb heavier than I was on Thurs! hack. cough. sputter.

It has to be the port!

I haven't been able to exercise yet. But I know it's got nothing to do with the ice cream I have had. Everyone knows that ice cream is an essential part of healing after any kind of surgery. I mean we bribe kids with it....After you wake up...you get to have ice cream! It's in my discharge papers...

pain meds as needed, activity as tolerated, ice cream as necessary for recovery. 

So you see. The only explanation is that it's a heavy port! That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Maryland Crab:
You probably had on 20 lb shoes as well. Given how you're about to feel - I say just let go the weight loss right now.  Eat as well as you can, but give yourself a break.

Rosey:

Well I'm worn out. Mr. Rosey had to go into the office to place an order. So I went with him. We wanted to visit the Ashley furniture showroom to look at recliners. And it seemed like a good time.  I must be healing somewhat as there were bumps that made me wince, but I wasn't sucking in my teeth like I did last Friday. I did find a recliner that was very comfy...cushy and the mechanism was easy to reach to open and close. I figured that if one was a struggle to open NOW...that I would be flopping like a fish this time next week. So I tried them out looking for easy opens and closes.

Then he dropped me off in Sams to cruise in a cart.  But I need to speak to the dietician counselor before buying any foods for me. I have all these people telling me to eat cherries.....blueberries...

The oncologists tell me NO suppliments during chemo or radiation. The theory is that the natural vitamins and minerals occuring in food are fine. But not to overload on say....Vit E capsules. The suppliments toughen the cell walls so that the chemo and radiation can't work. So while I need good nutrition...I'm asking how much of a good thing is to much of a good thing?

He he he...gonna share a laugh. I sent Amy a text message with a photo of my port incision.

She sent back a message that she was glad I had not had a hemorrhoid surgery. 

bwa ha ha ha....Mr. R and I had a big lol over her response.

Meeshia:

I didn't even know ports were inside or outside.  I'm sure yours is totally different than a line they put in for liquid food, but I think it is so amazing and a total blessing they can skip those veins and go right into the body for your chemo.  

Rosey:

My portacath is totally inside the body. They threaded a line into my big heart vein. Then the port is stitched to a muscle to hold it in place. Well its supposed to be. I think mine is but KJ's is not. You can move his around. I haven't tried to move mine, as it's so sore it has to be nailed down in there. Then skin is sewn shut over the whole apparatus. I can text you a photo of the incision if you'd like. lol As Amy noted - at least it wasn't hemorrhoid surgery. snicker (photo above)

Maryland Crab:
Well thank heaven you have a sense of humor.  I know it's all hard core serious stuff, but if you can't find a giggle here and there....

Michelle:
Rosey, I think it is wonderful that you have such caring ppl on your side. And you made me laugh with the whole ice cream thing. I love your sense of humor! You blessed me today

Dawn:
Had to laugh at Amy's comment. OMW!!! Laughter is good medicine! Get plenty of it Rosey!!

It's so cool to see God's hand in all of this. He knows your every need and fear and I love hearing about how He's meeting them. Blessing you with such wonderful doctors. You are in the hands of Jesus. He will carry you.

My dad was a huge believer in the fact that ice cream cures anything.  Anytime one of us kids didn't feel good he'd tell us to eat ice cream. Mom 'bout had a fit.  My dad is a wise old man....so eat up girlie!!! 

Meeshia:

I am curious as to how it looks.  I'm thinking it looks like Kathy's and it still doesn't make any sense to me, because it doesn't look like it is there.  Maybe hers is a few weeks healed and that is what it is to look like.  Still totally amazing, makes me grateful we live in this day and age they can do things like this.  Thinks like this that is gonna keep you around for many years to come.  

Rosey:
Well actually the whole cancer treatment thing is amazing us. Dad's cancer was 20 years ago. Mom's was 13 years ago. I remember mom's radiation as a horrible experience. By her last week she had these huge weeping open blisters and the doctor overseeing her was happy. He said that was good..it meant they had burned out the bad stuff. My dear radiation oncologist had a look of horror on his face when I told him that. He said he understood why radiation scares me more than chemo. Literally mom laid on a recliner with no shirt on, her blistered breast exposed to air. She whimpered when we walked by because just the air currents hitting her skin hurt. K's impression was that MY doctor would never let get things get so crispy. But he said our machines are so much more progressed now.  It can pinpoint an area of radiation down to an inch leaving the rest of the breast untouched. Now if I have to have radiation my skin is what they will be radiating. But he kept repeating that radiation is different now.

When dad had chemo 20 years ago he had some nausea but mostly his issue was diarrhea. Now they have these protocols for nausea and for diarrhea, and mouth sores and finger nails. Things daddy suffered through they will be soothing me through.

I told KJ that the American Cancer Society deserved more of our money - combined federal campaign. Because I can easily see they have put funds into research that has made cancer an easier illness to cope with.

Cancer is easier when you have the RIGHT people in place.