Available

Not my kitchen - Mine should be so big!

The sun shines bright through the windows as I prepare my kitchen for the onslaught of holiday baking.  Maybe I'm obnoxious this way, but I want to start with a clean kitchen before I totally destroy it with flour, sugar and dripped, dropped or dumped messes.

So it was at the sink wearing my humongous blue and white rubber gloves (the Diva must protect her manicure!) sunk deep into scalding hot water.  *Tip - rubber gloves help you tolerate hotter dishwater, so it takes less time to wash them.*  I recalled a comment sent me last weekend.

I live a good distance from my church family.  I don't get "drop in" guests.  That's fine.  A great deal of women that I love as much as sisters live in various parts of the country.  What I am getting at is most of my relationships are via the internet...online....email...at best by text.

There is quite a few women I correspond with through email or Facebook messaging.  There is little that is special about what I do.  They write out their frustrations.  I read them.  I ask a few questions, offer a perspective or insight and they respond enthusiastically.  *They gush at my brilliance.*  lol 

Some women are going through extremely difficult times in the marriage.  Some are suffering through years of barren parenting...when you give repeatedly and get NOTHING back from an ungrateful teenager. ;)  Other's are women impacted by cancer and they look for me to ride with them through rough waters ahead of them.  Some others are just weighed down by life and look for a little something to smile about.  Some still suffer from memories and mental anguish of pain long past.

I enjoy this.  Some call me a mentor, most call me a friend, a few call me counselor.  One made a comment, "You should open up a Paypal account, ask people to tell you details about their lives and you will tell them what is wrong with them."  I laughed and told my husband about this.  He laughed too and suggested there might be an income possibility there.

I mentioned this to yet another friend, and with a earnest voice she informed me, "Rosey, you just don't understand how few women will take the time to listen to what is bothering me."

So it is this collection of thoughts that has me deep in thought and soap suds.

"Where are the Titus Women these days?"

To those who don't understand, this is in reference to a Scripture in the Bible.  The second chapter of Titus exhorts us to

 Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine,but to teach what is good.  Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children,  to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. (vs 3 - 5)

In my younger years, I looked forward to being a Titus Woman when I grew up.  To pass on wisdom I gained through the years, the tears and the tribu-bloody-lations (reference to the PBS show "Call the Midwives").  But according to my young friend, there are few around.

And I am questioning why?  Is it that those of us with the experience don't have the heart or concern?  Is it so few have the time?  Are there so few woman at home?  Is it those who are at home, are still busy raising little ones?   

What has happened to the mature woman with the time to share?  

Have we grown so cynical that we don't care about the younger generations?  Or worse, are we now self centered and stingy with our time?  Have we taken on that cloak of "We did our time" and moved on to indulge our personal desires and wants.  

I am saddened as I consider these things.  I watch the soap bubbles pop and disappear as I consider the growing lack of mature women to lead and instruct, to cheer and encourage these younger wives, mothers and daughters.  The women who are now in the trenches without the spiritual guidance of godly women modeling spiritual truths and positive impact.

I have struggled for some years now (every time I go through a new Beth Moore Bible study in fact) and she challenges us to find our "Godly purpose in life."  I view my life and lament that I have no purpose.  I have raised my son.  I have welcomed a daughter in law into my life, home and heart.  I've yet to see grandchildren, but I pray for them that might arrive someday.  I have watched my parents leave this earth and go on to eternity.  I have wept.  I have laughed.  I have praised and I have sorrowed.    

I have not danced.  It is everyone's best interest that I refrain from that.  

I have lived through hard times with little and I have tasted the excess.  I struggled in marriage and I have found great joy in it.  I have been wrong and I have been right.

I have been wounded.  I have been damaged.  I suffered, I fought and  I battled.  

I have been redeemed. I have been forgiven.  I have been remade.  I have been healed.

I still struggle with the question, "What is my purpose in life?"  Today, as I dry my hands and put away my dishes I am wondering at the lives of the women I minister to through written word by email, text or blog.  The thought occurs to me.  

Could my purpose be that I am the listening ear to someone who is coming behind me? To model Christ in my journey?  To shine a light upon the dark pathway they walk?  Maybe just 

Available?

Whether I am here to lead, to listen or to follow, I will pray for wisdom.  I need wisdom to not harm, not to wound; and wisdom to be available.

Wisdom is greater far and more precious than rubies. (Proverbs 8:11)