Friday, March 9, 2012

A Pink Ribbon Update

Today I had another Physical Therapy visit.  It is not the most painful experience of this Journey.  It's just a little frustrating.  If you are not following, I am getting physical therapy now because my radiated tissue expander is rather bad shape.  While the skin is in good condition, under the skin I have developed scar tissue, adhesions and fibrosis.  At this point I am not certain my plastic surgeon will be able to do a successful fill, even if he is ready to start.  So I will spend the next month working with Ginny Purso to release all those scars and adhesions.  These adhesions are pulling the expander laterally.  It's pulling up toward my shoulder, and laterally to the arm pit.  I may wind up with a constructed breast under my arm pit.  No just joking.    In the final placement, Dr. Puckett can cut those adhesions loose.  He will reform the pocket before placing the implant.  I have faith he will do the reconstruction well.  I have said all along that my goal is to feel pretty in a dress or nice shirt.  That does not happen with a mastectomy bra and silicon.  Not for this woman anyway.  Ginny and I worked on the expander and I think we did get it softened just a tad.  (Spell check doesn't like the word "expander".)  But tonight I am sore and tender.  The cold pack is a wonderful invention.

In my initial meeting with the plastic surgeon, he was concerned that the results will not aesthetically pleasing if I had radiation.  I see his point now.  From his world of picture perfect breasts, mine don't meet the standard.  But MY standard of fitting into a good bra and filling the blouse with normalcy, is easier to reach.

On Tuesday this week, 3/6  marked the year anniversary of my last radiation treatment.    I forgot to celebrate it.  I see a BBQ in the near future.  I love celebrating these anniversaries of the single most WORST experiences of my life.

Dr. Puckett wanted to see me on the 20th to discuss starting the expansion.  But with James and Mandy's wedding next month AND now my beloved is in need of surgery, I am waiting.  I came to the decision to post pone the whole thing.  Dr. Joe, my oncologist felt that was a very good decision.  I know the expansion is going to hurt.  So I rescheduled the appointment for May 1st.  I'm not certain that the DAY after the wedding was a smart choice, but I need to get it started.  Of course, it also hinges on when my beloved needs to have his kidney surgery.  But my hope is to have the surgery in December.  The process has to get started.

Of all the tenses that I study, it is the future that I struggle with.  Waiting on the future.

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