I am Rosey

I have not made my blog public before. Honestly it’s not very old and I was only using it for reviews.  I am not that confident that anyone really needs to or wants to hear what I have to say.    But earlier this week, I heard Beth Moore say the exact same thing about herself!  Can you believe that THE Beth Moore would say that?  I have said for a number of years that this woman could scoop kitty litter and come up with a devotional that would make us teary, nod and agree we want to scoop litter too.  She spoke of the journey through life to find your purpose.  She listed all the things she has done BEFORE she found her purpose in life…teaching Bible lessons and ministering to women.  I was stunned.

For years, people have asked me to write.  But I am clueless as to what TO write.  Do I have anything that people REALLY want to spend time reading?  Recently, a young friend asked me if I had a blog because she would read it.  And I’m sorry Marcey, I told you no.  The truth was that I didn’t have a public blog.  I had this review blog and I have a very private one of my cancer journey that I am working on.  It may be made public later on after I am satisfied with it.  Now I am taking an online writing class.  And yesterday yet another person said to me….you need to be writing.  So. Maybe. This. Is. What. God. Has. Been. Trying. To. Tell. Me.  And if not, I’m sure I will enjoy doing it even if no one else wants to read it.

I love words.  I love to put them in writing.  I love to string them together in unexpected ways.  I'm excited when something makes me laugh.  I love it when my writing touches someone and draws out their emotion.  Or just gives them something to consider.  But I warn you, I’m pretty direct.  Not in a mean way.  Some call me “colorful”, other’s call me funny.  My husband calls me weird.  But it comes out of pain.  So many mistakes I had made earlier in my life, could have been avoided if someone just told me truth without skirting around the topic.  If they had just spoken the plain, direct truths, I might have avoided some sad decisions.  So I speak directly to you and I write the way I talk.  Complete with exclamation point, quotes and parenthesis.  When I want you to accent a word, I type it in CAPS.  I love to find the humor in even my most painful moments.  I tried to describe myself thoroughly in my profile. But they have to audacity to limit me to 1200 characters.  How I laugh out loud.  I have such a difficult time stemming the flow of words. 

I am a reviewer for Thomas Nelson Publishers.  I get free books sent to me for that purpose.  Can I say SCORE!  However I have been pokey with reading and writing the next one.   I currently have “Fresh Brewed Life” by Nicole Johnson.  I knew it was not fiction, but written for Christian women.  I started reading as I would for a review.  But it stepped all over my toes, so I had to slow down and savor it.  I knew God wanted me to listen to this one.  But I need to get back to it.  I can’t decide to blog my way through it or save it for a summer Bible study.  I do keep in mind that my summer may not be an easy one though.  I don’t want to start something I can’t finish.

I love to have a cuppa hot tea...Lemon Zinger to be truthful, although Peppermint is close behind it.  I don't wrong with either.  I have a collection of tea cups.  I have been given a number now, but what I have purchased has all been with roses on them.  Except blue.  I don't do blue roses. So...did I mention I love roses?      It was about the time I joined that online moms group when I was asked what my user name was to be.  My eyes fell upon a Jackson and Perkins catalog that I have been dreaming through.  My eyes fell onto the page that featured, Don Juan, Mr. Lincoln, Queen Elizabeth, Melody Parfumée, Peace...have you clued in that these are very FRAGRANT roses?  It was later shortened to “Rosey”, by women that I dearly love most of them I have never met.

I attend a nondenominational church, and I am a follower of Christ.  I am going through a journey, discovering that God is delighted in me and loves me.  Maybe I will share more in that journey later on.

My nest is empty now, but for spoiled rotten furbaby by the name Princess Leia.  I didn’t name her.  She is a loud, playful, friendly Pomeranian.  She is pretty, and despite missing an eye and a leg, she is rambunctious, loving little buddy.  We currently have custody of my son’s cat, Kloey.  No I didn't spell it wrong.  He chose that spelling on purpose.  And I have a bunch of tropical fish...I name them too.  I have a Willie, a McQuire, a Marilyn, a Goldie, a Kringle, and Noel.  I recently lay to rest Gibson and Madonna...meaning I flushed them.

I am the firstborn of 4 daughters.  (That's a cool way of saying I'm the oldest...shhhh)  Most of us grew up on a small hobby farm, although a lot didn't like a hobby to us girls.  Daddy told us we could be powerful women if we did not our gender stop us from trying something new.  He meant it.  We had different interests.  Some of us fished.  One hunts.  We all cut and hauled wood from the bottom 15 up to the front 15.  We all planted the garden, we all pulled weeds, harvested and canned.  We had household chores as well.  My parents were not perfect by any definition.  But they loved us.  Their love was unconditional.  I hope at some point I will tell you of my father’s demonstration of how unconditional his love was.  My relationship with my mom is not so easily explained.  (Is it ever?  Moms and daughters?)  Right now I will just say that from puberty until just a few years before her death, I did not feel loved unconditionally by her.  Near the end, I did come to believe that she loved me in a way a mother loves a daughter.  But she did not love me with the same joy and acceptance as she did my sisters.  We shared love and laughter, and we also shared common interests and love.  She would always choose me last.  The difference now is that I did come to accept that and let go of the pain it caused me.  And I accepted her love the way she gave it.  

Finally.  I love being a female.  I love the complexity of our body, the fluctuations of our hormones. I love that we have boobs, buns, even our periods. I do confess that I occasionally struggle with my self image now that I have no uterus, no ovaries and my breasts have been built from wire and concrete.  (If you don't believe me, I will let you cop a feel to see how hard implants really are.)   I love that God created us with the capability of carrying life within us and giving life to a new human.   I love that he built me with a sense of humor.  I love how we feel and love.  I love even the less loveable things about us.  It beats being a male, though I am hard pressed to find a man who would agree.   I love the way we think and process information.  I love our hearts and emotions.  I think women are the epitome of the Scripture...Psalm 139:14   I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.